A Christian's tough love
Nowadays, we are all raised and conditioned by society to be non-confrontational. We are living in the hippie age, and starting a confrontation and making someone feel uncomfortable is seen as evil, and people would rather avoid a problem than call out someone on his bullshit, evil ways, and double-mindedness. Furthermore, any form of physical violence is seen as a crime, so we are only allowed to solve problems with words or through intrigues. Most people get by alright in life with avoiding conflicts of all kinds. However, as Christians, we cannot do that, especially to our brothers in our congregation.
In this article, I lay out a scriptural Christian attitude towards confronting brethren, calling them to repentance, and how to deal with the unrepentant. Naturally, I also cover what a scriptural Christian's attitude when getting confronted and admonished should be.
Reprimanding is part of a good Christian's conduct
These are the chief commandments of Christ; to love Yahweh and to love your kindred as yourself:
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. — Matthew 22:37-40 (KJV)
In 1 Thessalonians 5, we are also called to the same love and faith (skipping some verses for brevity):
5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.
— 1 Thessalonians 5 (KJV)
Here, we as Christians are called to a higher standard of conduct than the ungodly. A Christian should be sober, full of faith and love, and comfort himself with the hope of salvation. Beyond merely better conduct, we are even called to be perfect:
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. — Matthew 5:48 (KJV)
This suffices to draw a picture of the high expectations Yahweh has for us. Anyone who professes the Christian faith must thus strive to obey these commandments and to be perfect. Of course, perfection is not possible with our current bodies, and there is a constant battle of the flesh against the spirit raging within us, but that is not a valid excuse for giving up, slacking off and living a life of sin instead of enduring. Realistically speaking, as God does not expect the impossible from us, we are expected to give it our best, so that is the individual standard each Christian can be held accountable to. Every time we fail to live up to our best, we break the commandments. Keep in mind, though, that we are not called to overwork ourselves, so everyone will have to find out what his limits are for himself and make sure he rests enough.
Now that we have established the general standard of conduct a expected of a professing Christian, we will come to the main topic: reprimanding brethren. For that, 1 Thessalonians 5 gives a succinct outline:
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
— 1 Thessalonians 5:11-15 (KJV)
We must help and edify our brethren, which from the above verses is understood to include warnings and admonishings (reprimands). As we should love our betters in Christ (those of greater virtue, faith, wisdom, conduct) who reprimand us on account of their works, it follows that receiving righteous reprimands is is something to be thankful for. Thus, righteous reprimands are good works in Christ.
We are constantly being tempted and confronted with trials, and it is easy to fall into a trap without realising it. So, when we see a brother who is led into heresy or astray off the way of righteousness, and breaks the commandments, we should let him know, and warn him of his unruliness in conduct, so that he may have a chance to repent and to grow into a greater man in Yahweh. Through warnings and reprimands, we edify each other in Christ, as we help each other to walk on the narrow way of truth, light, and life, as is intended for us by our heavenly Father.
Of course, we should reprimand in moderation only, and we have no right to reprimand hypocritically:
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
— Matthew 7:1-5 (KJV)
Reprimanding is a duty, but it also comes with requirements: reprimand not others of things that you yourself are guilty of, and do not reprimand falsely. This means that whenever we want to reprimand someone, we first have to earnestly assess our own conduct first. If we are also guilty of the same thing, we must use this opportunity to better ourselves and then, when our conduct is acceptable, we are allowed to reprimand others. Those who do not follow this rule turn into hypocritical naggers and will cause strife. And if we reprimand our brothers about wrongs they didn't commit, we will be accusing falsely, thereby breaking the commandments. We must thus make sure we are in the right before accusing others.
We are called to warn brothers of dangers, and reprimand them for wrongdoing, but there are different ways to go about it. For minor things, it should be sufficient to just plainly point out the wrongs committed. However, if someone resists instruction, or is excessively unruly, breaking the greater commandments, it may be necessary to reprimand him sternly and loudly, to sober him up and move him to shame, that he may repent of his evil ways.
To be righteous in reprimanding, we must make sure to not reprimand others for our sake and out of our anger when wronged, but for their sake and out of love for our brethren and the commandments:
Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
— Matthew 7:19 (KJV)
Therefore, we must also correct our brothers' doctrine if they teach others to break the commandments, to save them and their pupils. But for the sake of peace, do not dispute over trivial or speculative things, and acknowledge differences in understanding if they do not lead to the breaking of commandments.
Casting brothers out of the congregation
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul teaches us about putting wretched sinners away from our congregation. He gives two reasons for this:
5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
9-11 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
— 1 Corinthians 5 (KJV)
Firstly, give them over to Satan, and do not eat with them, for the destruction of their flesh, and secondly, to separate yourselves from the society and its sinners. Paul gives a metaphor in the same epistle to point out the effect sinners have on our congregation if not expelled:
Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us: Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
— 1 Corinthians 5:6-8 (KJV)
If we want our congregation to be unleavened, we must not allow even a little bit of sin to take hold, as even a little bit of leaven already leavens the whole lump.
If one is cast out of the congregation, he is isolated from his Christian brethren, and will have no one for company but the society, which is ruled by Satan. Hopefully, the pressure will break his pride, and he will come to repentance, and be admitted back into the congregation after confessing his sin. However, if he staunchly refuses to see reason, he has no choice but to go on alone or go back into society again. However, since a friendship with the world is enmity with Christ, and friendship with Christ is enmity with the world, going back to partake in society is a rejection of the faith.
This is the meaning of giving over a brother to Satan: he will be forced into the blatantly sinful society, by which he should be appalled. If he starts to be around unbelievers and rampant sinners all day, and is accepted into their company, he has failed the trial of Yahweh, and his works will be burned up, but his soul will nonetheless be saved:
According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.
— 1 Corinthians 3:10-15
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All congregations are tested with false prophets and temptation. Therefore, it is important to watch out for heresies, and to call them out.